Why do parents think that if you don't have kids you shouldn't say anything about raising kids? True, as non-parents we don't know what it's like day in and day out, all the little things, everything that goes with being a parent. But that doesn't mean that we have never been around kids, younger siblings, nieces and nephews, babysitting. And besides, when someone sees bad parenting or lazy parenting, it doesn't matter whether you have kids or not.
Are parents so afraid that "an outsider" might notice that whatever action they just did, wasn't right, was maybe the lazy way, and they can't face up to that, that they want to believe they are all perfect parents?
I have friends that have kids, most I consider to be "good parents" as they seem to know when to give in, when not to give in, the kids are well behaved, clean, well taken care of, can be bratty, but aren't brats. The parents punish the kids when they do something wrong, and reward for good behavior, they sometimes give in even when they shouldn't because sometimes it isn't worth the fight, sometimes mom is just tired and not up for a fight over something small, etc...
But then a few friends are "bad parents" their kids are brats, they are out of control and don't mind, nor do the parents try to make them mind, they have no punishments. They give in to everything. Their are a few that fall in between the two. I do not associate much with the "bad parents" when they have their kids with them.
And I have noticed that the ones that get so mad at non-parents for saying anything are the "bad parents." Do they think that they are making good choices with their kids?
As I am not a parent I have no idea what it's like for lots of choices parents make, and I wonder even with the good parents about some of the choices that they make, but usually I don't say anything. For years I working in day care centers and as a nanny, but that is so different than having kids of your own. But, just so parents do know, most of us non-parents have thought about having kids of our own one day, have had experiences with kids, maybe even YOUR kids, we CAN say something and CAN judge you over SOME of your parenting skills and choices as some ANYONE as an adult can make and tell whether that was a good choice or bad choice,
And especially if you choose to post your story online somewhere, as a blog or another forum, you will be judged, and if you only want other parents to have a say then find exclusive parenting sites. If you think non-parents can't judge you, then you can't judge us for things you have no knowledge of either, what it's like to be single at this time, what it's like to either be trying for a baby, and having difficulty, not wanting kids now or possibly ever, just because you may have ONCE been single or not wanted kids (or whichever situation) , doesn't mean it applies now so if you feel that non-parents shouldn't judge you because they don't know what it's like then you can't judge something you no longer are either, fair is fair.
And for the record, examples of things anyone as an adult can judge whether they are a parent are not: feeding kids junk food too often, leaving small kids home alone, even for 5 minutes, having sex and being so loud your kid hears you and then imitates you, (have all the sex you want, just be responsible, wait until the kid is asleep or busy and wait until it's out of the house to be LOUD) letting kids watch inappropriate movies and tv shows and play mature video games, taking kids out too late at night, or when they are sick, etc...
Oh and by the way, I have also dated guys that had kids. I've been around for the day to day, been the "mommy" to one ex boyfriends son for awhile.
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