So I think I finally realize that I am stuck with him, unless I want to be alone. That nobody else wants me, at all. I always knew the one was a fantasy and that he would never actually want me, fine, yes it stings a bit, but no big deal. But the other one, I saw him last night, and I don't think he ever really paid me any attention. He may have looked at me slightly a few times, but not the way he checked out other girls, especially the bimbo/whore types. I know I am not that way, and I know that this guy not paying attention to me shouldn't bother me, but it does. Why? Could question. I guess because unlike the other one he is real, not fantasy. If he wants that type of girl, then I don't want him. I just know now, that next time I am around him not to expect his attention or better yet avoid him as much as possible so as not to embarrass myself. It was hard last night watching this guy check out other girls, girls I can never compete with. I will never look like them, can never look like them. This hurts so bad, not that this guy doesn't want me, just that nobody does, except him.
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